As I’ve said before, communication is vital in marriage but also in all of life. It is so easy to have communication fumbles but the key is to be slow to anger and quick to forgive. Of course, realizing that you are not always right, you are fallible, and your spouse can actually be right. It is also important to be aware when you are being touchy (know that you need to be more cautious with your words because you are having a rough day) or your spouse has had a rough day.
Everybody has difficult days, no matter what job you have. As a stay-at-home mom there are many things that can contribute to difficult days . . . missing ingredient for dinner, an appliance breaking down, not feeling well or not being able to get anything done during the day except making more mess because you just don’t have the strength to clean up after yourself or anyone else, to give a few examples. Add in homeschooling children and that adds in a whole lot of new variables and other potential people to have difficult days of their own, which can cause the caregiver to have a difficult day. Working outside the home has its own opportunities for difficult days.
Consequently it is best to give grace to each other and realize that even when harsh words are spoken that you may not be the root of the feelings, even if the harsh words are being spoken to you or about you. It is imperative to not retort harshly, keep your cool, and be calm. Remember that the Bible tells us in Proverbs 15:1 that a “soft answer turns away wrath . . .” Did you notice that it says a soft ANSWER turns away wrath? Not being softly spoken turns away wrath? This implies to me that someone is being angry towards me and that I am to RESPOND to them with a SOFT answer, which I will admit, is NOT easy.
Sometimes I’ve been tugged in so many directions that I did not hear my husband’s heart when he spoke to me. Sometimes it is important to hear what he is meaning behind what he is saying. Now I understand, when you have to decipher so many other things in your day, you don’t really want to have to decipher what the love of your life is saying – you’d just rather he come out and say what he means. I learned all too late in our marriage that when my hubby asked me if I wanted to ‘spend some time alone together’ he wasn’t really asking if I wanted to but in a round-about way telling me that he’d like to and that my honest response of ‘No, I’m very very tired, I just want to go to sleep’ translated as rejection of him which I never would have knowingly done.
For the health of your marriage, it is essential that you take the time necessary to adjust your attitude, speak kindly, and really listen to the heart of your beloved.
Until next time, God bless,