Tiffany and I watched this video on youtube by a mother that uses the Montessori method with her very young children (baby/toddler, and preschool age). It amazes me how someone can be such a ‘helicopter mom’ and allow them to be so incredibly independent at the same time.
At any rate, she talked a bit about how she redirects her children when they are getting into something that she doesn’t want them to get into. As she was sharing, I really liked how she found a different way to tell her children no without saying the word no. Children hear the word directed at them so often when they are little that it is frequently their most used word, which can be very frustrating.
Be sure to have positive interaction
I decided to look around and see what I could find to share with you today. One thing that I found was that parents need to remember to give positive words to the child. Make sure you are taking time to smile and show approval overall. This starts early in a child’s life. Then because you’ve given ‘yes’ looks, the child should notice a difference in a ‘no’ look or a look of disapproval, without you even having to say no. It’s an interesting idea. I know that I didn’t compliment my children enough–I gave them plenty of love though. (Disclaimer: I do not agree with everything presented on these pages but there are some good ideas and good information too.)
Along these lines, I found some interesting ideas on this webpage: How to Say No
Sometimes we tell a child no but could instead offer an alternative, you cannot have this but you can have this.
More Ideas (webpages)
- This one has some good tactics to use. I really like some of these ideas and think they can be very helpful. Of course, it takes a lot more thought than just saying ‘no.’
- This one talks some about what kids hear, when they aren’t completely focused on what you’re saying and then gave examples on how to word things to compensate for this. Very interesting! There is even a page to print out to help remind you.
- Finally this one has some different alternative statements and ideas that I found interesting. It has a printable too.
I hope these help you have more positive conversations with your children and help get you through the valley of “No.”
Until next time, God bless,