Category Archives: Marriage Monday

Because your spouse matters

Life is Crazy Right Now

I have absolutely NEVER seen things as crazy as I have seen them this week! Our craziness started with picking up two Aussie pups in the middle of the week, shifting my errands around.

Well, actually, it started last week when Tiffany and I were running errands and the electronics totally malfunctioned on the car. Michael ended up getting it towed to the mechanic, who wasn’t able to get to it until mid-week. So we were down a vehicle.

Errands

Michael said he’d run errands with me on Friday since he wouldn’t have work that day. I’m not usually happy about running errands on a Friday because it is quite a bit more hectic than other days of the week and since I can go any day I want, I tend to steer clear of Fridays, generally speaking. ;)

We left the house around 9 or 9:30 and made it to our first stop around 10, I guess. It wasn’t horrible but there were a few more people in my way than usual. AND it was raining. :D I found some chicken thighs for 68¢/pound for Michael–he’ll need those on nights we have pork; in hindsight, I probably should have gotten two packages. ;)

Toilet paper was flying off the shelves. They had a big mound display of it in the back by the dairy department to compensate though. All they had were two different kinds of Cottonelle and Flora. We usually buy Charmin, so since this was our first stop and not where I usually purchase toilet paper, I decided to wait and get it at my usual place. As I was walking out, I overheard a woman say that Walmart was out of toilet paper. This did startle me a bit because that is the name of my usual source but there is a Walmart within a mile of this store and I was hoping she was referring to that store rather than mine.

Where’s the Toilet Paper?

As we continued our errands, Aldi’s shelf was bare of all toilet paper as was MY Walmart’s! Oh no! I became desperate because we were nearly out of toilet paper (I know I can cut up some of the old clothes I have around here and use them but was hoping things wouldn’t get that desperate ;) ). I checked next door at Dollar Tree and they too had an empty shelf where their toilet paper once lived.

Thankfully, I knew WinCo had some a short time before so we traipsed back up the four miles to that store. I went in and the mound display was seriously smaller than it had been a short time before (less than 2 hours). I stood there debating between the blue and the purple packages of Cottonelle, while Michael waited for me in the car out front. A nice lady said the purple were much better than the blue, so trusting her, I bought two of the purple packages :D and we were homeward bound.

Seriously, Even Vinegar?

I could not believe how hectic and crazy things were. I was stunned that dish soap and vinegar were in such high demand. Yes, even apple cider vinegar with the mother! I did get some but these are normal purchases for me, not some doomsday fear-of-quarantine stockpiling.

Be a Bit Kinder/More Thoughtful

I’m sure you’re wondering how I’m going to bring this back to marriage–in times crisis or overall craziness, it is important to be a bit kinder or more thoughtful. I try to do something a little bit special, like make cookies or his favorite dinner, just to make things a little bit more pleasant away from the crazy out there. I know it isn’t much but it is something. (And it made him smile. :) )

Until next time, God bless,

Michele ºÜº

PS. It was the alternator and it is now fixed; not cheaply but fixed. :)

Think On the Positive Things

Here is a challenge that I am doing this week and invite you to jump in too.

Lately it seems that I’m focusing more on the negative things. So to get my mind in the right place, I’m going to think of one positive (nice) thing about my honey and write it down. I think I will even try to write it out using the modern calligraphy I’ve been learning because you have to write slowly when you do calligraphy, which will help me focus on that good thing. :)

I hope you’ll try this challenge the next time you’re focusing a bit too much on the negative things.

Until next time, God bless,

Michele ºÜº

Don’t Let Opposition Rob Intimacy

When I was younger, if Michael and I had a disagreement in the evening close to bed time, I really struggled to get over it. And the thought of being intimate that night was no where in my thoughts at all. It wasn’t that I was holding a grudge but that I struggled with turning off that part of my emotions and turning on the part of me that relished in intimacy with him.

Over the years I have learned how to disconnect the frustration that I have had with him over whatever topic and put my mind in the right place to enjoy being close to my man.

Lately it seems that Michael and I have completely opposite ideas about a couple of perpetual situations in our lives right now. These are things that we cannot just simply make a decision and move on. One is something that is completely out of our control and our thoughts about the situation and what should be done (not by us). The other is a situation that is requiring a LOT of prayer to discern God’s plan over.

Thankfully I have learned to turn off the thoughts of those two subjects, put them in a box, and enjoy the love and relationship I have with my honey. If I operated the way I did in my younger years, being ruled by my current emotions, I would be robbing not only myself but my husband of the very thing that can further strengthen our relationship, in spite of the current situations.

It’s important to let the love we have had over the years rise to the surface and help us through these difficult situations.

I hope my rambling today encourages you to put away the frustrations of a disagreement and relish in the love you and your spouse have for one another.

Until next time, God bless,

Michele ºÜº

An Important Key to a Good Marriage and Family

It’s important to keep up your relationship with God. It helps you have a better relationship with others, including your spouse and children.

Now I know when you have children and especially if you are homeschooling, that it is difficult to find time to read the Bible. But it really doesn’t have to be much. It doesn’t take much to read a couple of verses every day.

Bible Verse a Day

Here are some ideas for you, in no particular order.

Copywork/Handwriting

I learned that handwriting has neurological benefits. Consequently I write scriptures every day. I use the monthly scriptures provided on Sweet Blessings. Shannon does a full 31 day writing plan on a theme each month. She provides it in a handy printable in both English and Spanish; she even leaves all the old ones available, so you can always pick a topic that is of interest to you.

Prayer

It’s easy to talk to God throughout the day. It doesn’t require any particular amount of time; it can be done while doing dishes, folding laundry, mopping the floor, or any other mundane task. God is our friend and always there just waiting for us to talk to Him. It’s easy to get caught up in the demands of the day but I try to remember to He is always here and always waiting to hear from me. :)

Gospels Reading Plan

Did you know that if you just read 3 chapters of the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) a day, you can read through all four gospels in a month? Now some of those chapters are a bit long, so if your really busy, it might not be doable. I like reading through the gospels because I get to go through the works of Jesus four times. :) It really helps remember it better when I read it several times in a month.

Better Relationships

Bottom line is that keeping in the Bible, the Word of God, and talking to Him throughout the day, helps make me a nicer, better person.

I hope this encourages you to make it a point to spend some time each day, no matter how little, with God each day.

Until next time, God bless,

Michele ºÜº

The Hard Line Between Being Supportive and Disrespectful

Michael and I are very different people! Our upbringing was also totally different. So we end up clashing on lots of things. I am generally a very passionate person–I have strong feelings about things and I look out for those I love. (And have always protected my children as best I can but not in the overprotective parent way.)

Michael grew up in a very different way with harsh realities. He protected himself from bullies and such and knows the importance of being able to handle adversity.

Sometimes things happen and I feel the need to point out the harshness of the situation. Unfortunately it seems as if I am trying to ‘correct’ my hubby, which isn’t a good idea. But I get myself in these sticky situations trying to help those I love and it can seem as if I’m not on Michael’s side, so to speak. But I feel I have to address the situation. Ugh! :p

My kids are all in their twenties, following God with all their hearts, and the youngest two live here. It’s not easy as the kids mature and begin being more independent and have different opinions than their dad or me.

I realize the biggest answer to my quandary is prayer. :)

Do you have situations that you feel bad that you take the stand you do but feel you don’t really have a different option?

I’ll run for now, God bless,

Michele ºÜº

To Celebrate Valentine’s Day or Not to Celebrate Valentine’s Day

I was scrolling through facebook recently and was surprised when I saw that some happily married couples don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. =)) It seriously made me stop and think about it for a bit.

We’ve never gone all out for Valentine’s Day. And there were probably some years where we did very little.

When I was young I remember cutting out ‘decorations’ for each ‘holiday’ or season and hanging them up around my bedroom. I’ve always liked seasonal decor (little inexpensive things).

As a homeschool mom I tried to make small occasions fun. So on Valentine’s Day I’d make some red food and some dessert. At some point I started writing them each a letter. I guess I was trying to set a good example. ;)

After giving the topic some consideration, I realize that I use Valentine’s Day as an extra time to tell my family I love them but especially my hubby. It’s not about some big ordeal; it’s simply about letting my man know that I love him. It is a time to spend a little more thought on showing him love that one day, just like on our anniversary, Father’s Day, his birthday, and Christmas.

So I wonder about those happily married couples that don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. I guess it’s like people that choose not to celebrate Christmas. You’re welcome to your opinion but I’ve decided I want to pour a little extra love on my hubby on those days.

Last week I did clue him in to the fact that Valentine’s day is coming up shortly. He thanked me for the reminder. :) He knows that I like something little (like sugar-free chocolate/candies) and a nice purchased card. And I know he prefers a homemade card and something, be it a gift, or candy, or special dessert.

I wonder, do you and your hubby celebrate Valentine’s Day? If so, do you go big with expensive gifts, roses, and fancy dinner out? Or do you celebrate it privately after the kids are in bed with simple things? Or somewhere in between?

I’m glad I saw the post on facebook. It’s nice for me to think about why I do what I do.

Until next time, God bless,

Michele ºÜº

Valentine’s Day Planning

Valentine’s Day is  less than two weeks away. I’ve got some ideas about what to do for Michael but just not sure yet. I guess I need to make a decision. ;)

Do you find it difficult to come up with something? Since we still have two single kids at home, I like to make the day special for all of us but still keep Michael’s extra special. ;)

Of course I’ll make him a card because that is what he prefers–a handmade card over a purchased card.  I usually try to make red food and dessert is a must! Michael loves dessert. :) Plus this year St. Valentine’s Day is on a Friday, so that makes it more special.

Fridays are usually pizza night. Pizza sauce is red. Everyone loves the sourdough pizza. =)) There is this low carb, low fat berry cobbler that we could have and the berries could be red. :)

Of course I’ll think of something special for him but one of the best things I can do is keep my expectations low.

Well, I’m off to think about Michael’s card . . . begin planning it. I could use stickers and washi tape, which I have in abundance. I could do some zentangle inspired art and I have just downloaded the ValenTangle 2020 pdf, so maybe it will inspire me. Or I could paint his card or use stamps . . . many options. :)

I hope your Valentine planning is going well; time is getting short. ;)

Until next time,

Michele ºÜº

That Lovin’ Feeling

I looked over at Michael on the way to church yesterday and was struck with how handsome he is and how blessed I am. It actually brought tears to my eyes.

I sat there and wondered why it is that I’m only affected like that on the way to church but not any other time. And then I realized that he’s dressed up for church and being a paint contractor, he doesn’t dress up often. Another thing I realized is that I was sitting beside him and not across from him. Evidently his profile is very appealing to me. ;)

So, I’m thinking about this and wondering how I can tap into that feeling other times. It feels really good to have those “in love” feelings/moments. And then, as I’m typing this, He turned around from his game and winked at me and blew me a kiss and I felt it again.

I think it is about looking for those “feel good” moments in everyday life. At least, I’m going to put a little effort into that for a while.

Until next time,

Michele ºÜº

Starting to Prep for Valentine’s Day

I’m so thankful for people like Lori Byerly (The Generous Wife) because she is such a marriage encourager. Every year she starts a countdown to Valentine’s Day a month out. I love it because it gets me thinking about what to do for Michael with plenty of time to plan.

  • Do I want to make him a dessert he likes?
  • A special dinner with special dessert? (wink wink)
  • A several day surprise (like 12 days of Christmas)?
  • Take him out to eat the weekend before or after (he hates crowds, so Valentine’s Day is out of the question ;) )

So now, thanks to Lori, I’m thinking about Valentine’s Day and beginning to do some searching for some good ideas. It’d be nice to do something different this year. ;)

What are you planning? Have you got any different ideas?

Until next time,

Michele ºÜº

Handling a Change of Routine

With the holidays came  big change in our household routine. Of course it was a nice change of pace and made for enjoyable holidays. But when it gets extended it can throw a wrinkle in the normal routines, which isn’t always welcome or pleasant. ;)

As a self-employed paint contractor, Michael’s work can really fluctuate. It’s difficult to find the time to take a vacation because when work is abundant, well, he has work he needs to do and can’t generally just take off. And when work is sparse, it is difficult to go and spend money on something like a vacation when money is not coming in. It is understandable why people wouldn’t want painting done in their homes over the holidays or in January.

All of this can change the routines in our home. When the guys are home, Tiffany and I don’t follow the same routines we normally follow. For me, that starts with bedtime and the time I get up in the morning. I prefer later nights and to sleep in each morning. But left on my own, I end up going to bed a bit later each night and then sleeping in a bit later the next morning. I’m not really a morning person and only set my alarm in order to get up to start my day off right and be able to make Michael’s breakfast and lunch before he heads to work. So when he doesn’t have work, I don’t set the alarm and I usually end up staying up a little later than normal.

It is nice to have a break in routines for a short while but at some point my mind just screams to get back on schedule. I haven’t read much since before Christmas and I miss it. I haven’t done any Bob Ross paintings for several months and I miss that as well.

Tiffany and Michael both got sick between Christmas and the New Year and so that threw things off kilter a bit too. I like to get my bullet journal set up at the kitchen table with Tiffany but really felt uninspired to do any of it (and then there was also tending to the sick ;) ).

So the way I handled these hiccups in my routine was to make sure I spent some time with God each day. I did some calming exercise: either took a walk or the Ring Fit Adventure game on the Switch. I also made sure to take St. John’s Wort each day and L-Theanine as needed for added calming effect.

It’s helpful to keep the parts of the routine that I can but not to be a Nazi about it and be flexible. When hit with a difficult moment, I try to take a deep breath and not overreact but of course, I’m not always successful. ;)

So how do you handle changes to your routine?

Michele ºÜº