When You Argue

discussion ~ LifeOfJoy.meDid you notice that I said when you argue? That is because I believe that if everyone is honest, they have disagreements, and even an occasional argument with their spouse. Now, I know there are those rare couples that say they never argue but I wonder if they aren’t just playing with words.

I knew this couple that said they never argued but when I had a heart-to-heart conversation with her, she was overwrought from holding in her feelings. Now that is not good for your marriage OR for your health. But I digress.

There are some important things to remember when you do argue:

  • Stay on subject. Don’t use this time to bring up everything that has been bothering you or be petty.
  • Don’t just sling back retorts like “so do you” unless he/she really does do it too.
  • Don’t belittle the other for their feelings or opinions. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and their feelings. No matter how different from your own, they are just that, their feelings.

I asked Mike, Sean, and Tiffany about this subject and here are a few things they included:

  • Don’t yell. Yelling brings a new level to argument and anger can get in way too easily. The best option is to converse about things before they become something that makes you upset.
  • Be honest – lying is not an option.
  • The intended outcome is not to win the argument but to resolve the issue/situation.
  • Be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.

One of the most important things though, is to be quick to forgive, even if forgiveness is not asked for. It is okay to be upset. I know that when I get upset/in an argument, I need a few minutes to be ready to forgive. But I have to say, if you stay mad longer than a short time after the argument, you need to pray and ask God to help you forgive easier. I would say that you should be able to forgive within an hour (and I think that is really a bit too long) otherwise you’re in danger of getting bitter and that is not good (and not good for you)!

Until next time, God bless,
Michele ºÜº

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