I found all of these articles to be encouraging and supportive of being a mother. They also had some good information on how just keeping things simple can be better for your children. If you haven’t read them, you should take some time to do so; they really are very good.
Now before I start this next paragraph, I want to establish that I understand that both of those websites focus on motherhood. I get it. But . . . I’m concerned about one thing . . . the husband. I know from experience that the husband can feel that he is less important than the children.
If I HAD to choose one: wife or mom, I’d pick wife! Yes, I adore my children and am very glad we have them but I loved my man first. He is my best friend. He was not just a means to an end, i.e. a way to get children; we had children because we love each other so much.
Unfortunately, I lost sight of that or it got buried, bogged down in all the demands of being mom. But let me tell you something dear heart, being a wife first enables me to be a better mom. There is so much I’ve learned, so much I’d do differently, if given the opportunity. But here I am with grown children, warning you: Please, please, please, make sure your hubby knows he is first place with you. Consciously make decisions that show him that he is more important than the children; yes, they have needs that at times, they cannot tend to, but make comments with corresponding actions, that show he is more important but that they have a need to which you must attend and then go back to him.
When he asks if you want intimacy, be sure you really understand his question. Could he be telling you he’d like to be intimate, if you are willing? Don’t let tiredness come between you. Find time during your day (children’s nap time or quiet time) to recharge yourself so you are not so exhausted at the end of the day. Don’t use all of that precious quiet time for chores and then having nothing left to share with your beloved at the end of the day. Chores can be done while children are up, and you can include them in the chores.
Finally, make it special when daddy gets home! Show him he is important and have everyone run, hug, kiss, and greet him! Let him know he was missed. Don’t just look up from whatever you are doing and go back to it right away. Engage with him and then you can back off, if he is the type that needs some peace when he gets home.
This post kind of overlapped with Marriage Monday but it is really important! Dad/Hubby is really important. Make sure he knows it.
Okay, enough rant.
Until next time, God bless,