Marriage is not easy. It is wonderful but not easy. I am a stubborn woman and my man is also stubborn; life is interesting. Don’t get me wrong, I know all about giving in or making compromises on things . . . I’m Flexible, but it still isn’t easy!
I’ve homeschooled my children and have realized one thing about myself, I lean more towards being a critic than pumping up my family with praise. Once again, don’t misunderstand, I do praise my family but I hate pride, so I have been careful not to overdo the praise and to be sure to show my kids where they can improve because I want them to be the best they can be.
You may be wondering why I am mentioning this on Marriage Monday rather than Thoughtful Thursday, which is the day I share about children and/or homeschooling. Unfortunately, I have done something similar with my husband and the problem with that is that I’m not raising him. I’m his helpmeet! My job is to help him, provide a place where he feels loved, desired, needed et cetera.
I have realized that I have not complimented or praised my dear hubby nearly enough!
I visited The Generous Wife website again this week, well actually, several times (this and most weeks because she gives a short nudge each day and I find that helpful). Anyway, she linked to an article on To Love, Honor, and Vacuum. Sheila shared that in successful marriages spouses look for things to praise, not criticize. She told an interesting story of a couple in her town and how everyone else in town saw the gem she was married to but she did not and the twinkle in his eye was dampened when in the vicinity of his wife because of how she speaks to and about him. Truly sad.
I am the type of person that is always trying to improve myself, always learning and doing. So naturally when I read the article I wondered what kind of person am I. With my natural tendency toward critiquing, do I make my beloved feel valued, loved, and good about himself or do I tear him down. Oh, I hope I uplift him! But I’m not content to leave it at that. I am making a conscious effort to “scan for successes” over the next several weeks, which I hope will turn into months and eventually just be who I am.
I will also be following the other tip in her article, but I’m not going to tell you what that is. You’ll have to go over there and read it for yourself.
I hope you’ll join me and be more intentional in your marriage this week, month, year, and eventually life.
Until next time, God bless,