Men can be just as hurt as women can. When my man makes an effort to do something different, my reaction is very important. If I give any kind of reaction that can be interpreted as anything other than positive or “into it”, I have just decreased the chances of him trying it again. Even if I am tired and not really “into it”, it is in my best interest to get “into it”.
I know what it feels like to have less than enthusiastic responses to things I have done and it makes me not want to do them again. Since I want my love to continue to try new things, I shall give him positive feedback. Now this does not mean that I become a complete fake. I think I’m a pretty normal person and even when I am tired and ready to fall asleep, I can still say yes to intimacy and be glad I did. However, if I am honestly seriously sick, running a fever, and/or puking, this is a good time to say no, if he would even consider wanting to be intimate, which is unlikely.
This response thing isn’t even limited to intimacy. So many times the woman is ready to talk and the man just isn’t ready to listen and we know how that feels but it can work the other way as well. If he wants to talk about something, even things that are not remotely interesting to me, it is important for me to try to focus and engage with him on the chosen topic. If I don’t, I am tearing apart our relationship but when I do engage and try to find some interest in what he is interested in, I am building up our relationship. Many people will do this very thing when they are dating and trying to get a mate but feel they don’t need to do so after they are married and don’t feel they have the time after children come along. But let me admonish you, if you don’t make time for your mate when your children are young, you will have to repair your marriage later on!
It is important to understand the way your man thinks! I cannot emphasize this enough. When we were young and the children were young, I did NOT understand that when Mike would ask me if I wanted to get frisky, he was NOT really asking me if I wanted to; he was asking if we could. There is a huge difference in these two things. If I would have understood his meaning, I definitely would have answered him differently. I did not understand that by answering what I heard him asking, I was tearing apart our relationship bit by bit, to a point that he felt the children were more important to me than he was. I don’t think I have to point out that this is NOT a good thing. Thankfully, I learned the error of my ways and our marriage is much better today than it was 10 years ago.
So, remember to communicate with your spouse well AND respond to him with the same enthusiasm you would want him to respond to you.
Until next time, God bless,