I had the pleasure of visiting with old friends last Friday. The youngest daughter, who is nineteen, is headed to Jinja, Uganda, Africa. Thus we went to her going away party. There is something about REAL friendships that can withstand time apart and pick right up where we left off, as if we had not spent any time apart. We have this kind of friendship with this dear family.
At any rate, about the time I was thinking of leaving the party, having been there for an hour and a half or more, in walked the oldest daughter, who got married 3 years ago, and I have not been able to fellowship with in a very long time. We had a very good visit. I shared some tips with her that I thought I’d share here today. It is normal when two people begin to live together, that there can be some squirmishes over how the other does things.
I have learned many things from flylady.net. One of her basic tips is to have routines and to build them one thing at a time. You already have a routine, it’s just that it is probably not a very good or productive one. Creating good routines is one of the best things to do for your marriage.
By creating good routines you are being considerate of your spouse’s time. If there are things you need to do for him before he leaves for work, be sure you get them done in time for him to leave when he wants to leave.
I make Mike and Sean’s lunches each morning. I know I need to start doing this 30 minutes before they must leave. It doesn’t take me the full 30 minutes to do this but starting 30 minutes before they must leave gives me plenty of time to get them done and allows for anything that might come up, like bathroom breaks or making a quick breakfast too.
The same holds true for when I must leave the house. When we go to church, I know it takes us 35 minutes to get there. Thus we plan to leave 45 minutes before we need to be there which allows for anything that may hinder us leaving on time or traffic and such. I once heard it said that the only way to be on time for something is to be early. This has stuck with me. I try to be at meetings and such 5-10 minutes before it is supposed to begin that way I am seated and ready when it starts, which is showing respect and honor.
(I handle things a bit differently for casual meetings but still try to respect my relationships by arriving close to the time we established. My friends and I give each other grace and use time frames rather than exact times for getting together. )
You may wonder why I am mentioning this one Marriage Monday. When we are not considerate of our spouse’s time, it can cause problems in the relationship. If we don’t do what we need to do for them to leave on time we inconvenience them or worse, can get them in trouble on their job. Respecting his time is showing him respect too. But more than that, not getting done what we need to get done in order for him to leave on time shows disrespect for him and can make him think you care more about whatever was occupying your time than about him and his needs, which I do not want!
Until next time, God bless,