I am so challenged with what is and is not respect. I always thought I understood what respect was from being taught to respect my elders. But is seems incredibly different when you are talking about respecting your best friend, your husband. Suddenly I didn’t know what respect even was. Well, I guess the truth of the matter is that it is far easier to show ‘respect’ to someone with whom you have little interaction by merely shutting your mouth. This becomes much harder when applied to your spouse because you don’t exactly get a situation worked out if you shut you mouth and don’t talk about it.
I guess it boils down to how you talk which takes a lot of discipline. I have a hard time with my mouth. Well, not exactly my mouth per se but my tone. I’m passionate, which means I have a tendency to get loud. Unfortunately Michael translates this as disrespect. Yes, it has taken over twenty years for me to learn this and another ten to figure out how to communicate without being quite so passionate about it.
The funny thing about respect is that it is individual. This means that respect to one person will not necessarily be respectful to another. Thus it is important to know your mate. If you don’t know, ask questions. I’ve learned though that I have to watch my tone when I ask questions too because I can come across as disrespectful all depending on my tone.
I recently read an article by Nina over on Respect Dare that reminded me that what is respect to one is not necessarily respect to others. It’s a good article, as is the follow-up article here.
Bottom line for me is that I should not be afraid to ask my husband if something is respectful to him, as long as I do so in a proper tone.
Until next time, God bless,
Michele ºÜº