I guess the thing on my mind this week is respect. I have a difficult time understanding what respect is or more accurately, how to properly show respect to my beloved. Unfortunately, I think I’m better at disrespecting him. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean to at all! At times I think I’m being funny but I think he may feel disrespected by the things I say. I know that I can easily anger him with my words, although unintentionally.
The Bible tells use that we are to take up our cross daily. I guess part of that is not saying things that, although I’m trying to be cute or funny, hit my beloved the wrong way. It is not easy because men and women think so differently; thus it takes a lot of effort. This is an area I am still working on.
Another thing that I’ve worked on over the years is giving up my right to be correct and thus prove him wrong. Proving my love wrong does not strengthen him, it belittles him. I should never want to belittle him – not in private and definitely not in public.
Another area that I have failed in is how I talk about him to my children. You see, my children, especially once in their teen years, were my friends. Since we were home together all day, every day because I homeschooled them, I would frequently let my frustrations out with them around and sometimes I would even let out my frustrations to them. This is not a good idea because it tears down their father in their eyes. I have had to work at correcting this error, which has not been easy, because just like once things are seen, they cannot be unseen, the same goes for what is heard, cannot be unheard.
One thing I have learned is that if I do say something negative about him, I need to immediately say two nice things about him. This does not give me a license to talk negatively about him but it can help to put him back into the right perspective in my eyes.
Of course, it is imperative not to talk negatively about your spouse in public. That is a sure way to drive a wedge into your relationship! It is so much better to say good things about your man to others. Brag on him and let him hear you doing it. Don’t do it so much as to allow pride to set in but find the perfect balance that allows him to feel loved and respected.
It’s a small thing to do to nurture your marriage.
Until next time, God bless,