I have found that my life goes a LOT better when I focus on what I should be doing and not on what Mike (or anyone else, for that matter) should be doing. When I do the things I know to do and focus on God, I’m not nearly as disappointed as when I am wishing others would do things.
For example, when I am reading my Bible, praying (both in tongues and English), doing my household chores, and doing whatever God leads me to do, I am more focused on me obeying God than what Mike (or anyone else) is doing. Things just go more smoothly.
But then there are those days of attack. Seriously! There are days that I just take everything wrong and then what do I do? I respond too quickly and in that ugly tone of voice. I don’t even realize I’m doing it. But then out comes “Mr. Nasty” (a reference from the movie You’ve Got Mail) and we end up bickering with each other over either a misunderstanding or sometimes even nothing at all.
I read an interesting article recently that asked a couple simple questions. Are you generally a nice person? and Are you kind to others? Then turned it around and asked the same questions about how others see your husband. She went on to explain that many times you find that you just act differently with your spouse, in a negative way, than you do with others, which probably stems from some hurt in the past from some misperception.
She went on to explain that the solution is a simple one. Sit down and talk with your spouse. Start doing some fun things together. And be kind.
So the answer to those days of attack, is to think before I speak! Yep. I must engage my brain before I utter whatever sarcastic remark is about to leave my lips. I need to check my attitude and be sure that I am responding kindly, regardless of any attitudes coming my way. I cannot do anything about his attitudes (trust me, I’ve tried, to no avail). I can only deal with mine. Oh, and if I do try to deal with his attitude, it usually backfires because it is not my place to correct him. He’s not my child. He’s my husband, my LOVE! Trying to correct him makes him feel disrespected, especially if it is in front of anyone, even anyone living in the same house. And as I pointed out last week, wives are to respect their husbands. Unfortunately this is harder to put into practice than to write about. I’m a work in progress.
Until next week, God bless,