Marriage goes through seasons. When you first get married, of course, there is the honeymoon season but it is also filled with two individuals coming together in one home and creating a life together.
There are many things that are ironed out during that time. For Michael and I, coming home from work together, when we were both tired and neither one wanted to cook, needed a solution. Michael’s answer was, “we can have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.” Yes, that was his answer for every night. I did not even like pb & j sandwiches, so that did not work at all for me. But I like food too much and dinner is my favorite meal, so again, that was not going to work for me.
My immediate answer was to have easy things like boxed macaroni and cheese or ramen, both of which I loved and were inexpensive but that too got old rather quickly. I remember making the decision clearly . . . “I’ll make dinner when we get home BUT I’m not cleaning up alone.” Paper plates saved our marriage.
We came to terms with how we would handle the cleaning and laundry and lawn care and such. But it takes time and sometimes it takes compromise but it definitely takes learning when to give and when to take.
Then comes children and that is a completely different season of life and requires a renegotiation of tasks and responsibilities. Expecting that each person is going to be able to continue everything they did before is unrealistic on all parties involved.
The season with children is a lovely season of life but it also has seasons. When there is a newborn in the house, sleep is generally interrupted and things get a little off kilter. By the time you get back into a good rhythm, odds are that, you will have another child and mess it all up again.
As they grow, there are several more seasons to grow and change through . . . the season of early bed times, extra curricular activities, entertainment, sports, and such . . . all bring a readjustment to how things are done and who does them. Children begin to take on chores and help around the house, relieving some responsibilities from the parents, especially as they grow (the early stages of teaching children to do chores well, is not usually time saving but pays off in the end).
Then you go into the season of adult children, empty nest, and “retirement” and once again roles and responsibilities may change. Health is another factor that can contribute to the roles each spouse plays in the marriage.
We had the honor of being in the home of a lovely retired couple for dinner yesterday. The man enjoys cooking and thus, at this season of their lives, does most of the cooking. (He’s a good cook, I might add! ) But she did not abandon him in the deed. She helped get the food on the table and get it set, as well as cleared it away before dessert.
It was lovely to see a couple move so well together. They communicated with one another and served a wonderful meal with a friendly and hospitable atmosphere. They worked well together and it was nice to see. We had a very enjoyable afternoon visiting with them and ate some really yummy THM food.
In the past year, Michael has begun to help me in the kitchen, lending a hand. Many a Saturday morning you can find him in the kitchen assisting me, as I make pancakes of some sort. In the past couple of weeks I think he has put together more of the ingredients than I have. I enjoy working side by side with him in the kitchen.
I hope this inspires you to communicate with your dear one about your season of life and if there are any changes that would be helpful. Communication is key. Don’t get frustrated and angry. Pray and communicate.
Until next time, God bless. And Happy Thanksgiving,