Some times disagreements happen because both parties are trying to explain their point and not listening to the other person. I learned in a managerial class many years ago to listen to what the other person says and then respond with something like, What I heard you say was . . . or Is this what you’re saying . . . The point is that by telling them back what you understood them to say, they don’t have to keep pushing their point. Then proceed by sharing your point or how you see the subject.
Many times both parties are saying basically the same thing just from different directions, which may sound different. But if you tell it back, you will probably realize that the two points can actually coexist without friction. And if they don’t, since you’ve shown that you understand their point, you can come to a solution more readily.
So here are the steps:
- Tell back what you heard them say/how you understood what they said
- Let them confirm or correct
- Share you point
- Ultimately, they’d say back what they heard you say/understood
- and let you confirm or correct
- continue to a solution
I hope these tips can help you keep misunderstandings at a minimum and disagreements from being fights or shouting matches.