In order to have a healthy marriage, one MUST be forgiving. There are so many opportunities for hard feelings in marriage; it’s just natural. There are two people from different backgrounds and different upbringings learning to live with each other and that alone is not easy. Then add in expectations — we all have them — we have an idea of what other people in the household should be doing, after all that we are doing AND we tend to see our contributions larger than our spouse might see them but that is beside the point.
Things happen. Now, what you do when things happen is important. The thing we need to do is to forgive, whether you are asked to forgive or not. Unforgiveness is only hurting yourself . . . well, yourself and your marriage. You see unforgiveness taints a marriage. It can turn into bitterness and strife, which is NOT good! And although I am an advocate for working things out, some times it is just best to forgive and get over it. Don’t let things build up and eventually create a wall between you.
Don’t ever go to bed angry at your spouse (or really anyone, for that matter). There have been several nights that I went to bed frustrated and before I went to sleep, laid there and just prayed and forgave Mike for whatever I was frustrated about.
You may not think that your spouse deserves for you to just forgive him but YOU deserve for you to forgive him to let go of the frustration. Now, if the situation is a recurring situation, then find a time when you are not annoyed to talk to him about it . . . he may not even know that he is doing it and generally speaking, I doubt that he is doing whatever it is to annoy you; if he knows it annoys you, he may change how he does things (but he may not).
I like to buy replacement items when we start to run low on it so that when the item is all gone, we don’t have to go without, we just pull out the new package and continue on. My sweet honey has frustrated me in the past by opening the new package as soon as I bring it home, whether the old package was gone or not. One day I casually asked him about why he does it and he didn’t know. Since then he’s made an effort to act differently. However, one item that I asked him about like this, he knew exactly why he did it that way and continues to do it to this day. However I no longer get frustrated with this because I know he has a good reason why he does it (at least in his mind) and I cannot change him but I can change my reaction to him and what he does, thus I can then stay in peace.
Another thing to think about the next time you are frustrated with your honey is how you would want him to respond to things you do that frustrate him and give him that same grace. Forgiveness is a vital part of ‘a marriage that will stand the test of time.’ Is it easy? Absolutely NOT!!! But it is definitely worth it.
Until next time, keep doing the hard things and God bless,