Okay, I know that there are women out there that are a little overweight or fat in their own mind and their husbands are all like, I love you the way you are . . . you’re beautiful, and they don’t believe them. For those women I have to say, believe your husband!!! There are a multitude of blog posts on the internet telling you that I am right when I say that.
I need to let you know that I am truly so overweight that it is not pretty. Don’t get me wrong, I can still cover up and make myself presentable and pretty for my man (and I should do that) but I should never delude myself into thinking that he thinks all this blubber is beautiful or enticing. I have to lose weight!!! And praise God I am losing weight. But it is not my husband’s fault that he is a visual creature; that is how God made men. It is also not his fault that I allowed myself to gain so much weight.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been on diets for our entire marriage. He has paid a lot of money for me to try to lose weight. Sometimes it worked but most of the time it didn’t. Praise God, this time seems to be different (but check back in a year and we’ll see if it really is different or not ) The whole family has changed their dietary lifestyle several times because I’m the cook in the house and not going to make several different meals, parts of meals yes, entire meals no.
Michael would never say anything derogatory about me or my weight on purpose. If anything is said, it is something that slipped out and I took it differently than he intended. But to say that if he loved me he’d never let something like that slip is accusatory and disrespectful to him. My sweet husband has kept his mouth shut on the subject of my weight but I know how he feels. We’ve been married for 30 years, so you can trust me when I say I know how he feels about it. However, that does not keep us from loving on each other. We still flirt and touch each other; we have a healthy marriage.
I have to stand up for any of those husbands out there that would never intentionally hurt their wives but might have let something pass through their lips that clued the wife in to what he thought or felt about her weight. Don’t let yourself be torn down by it. Know that he did not mean to hurt you and that the devil wants you to be offended so he can tear you two apart. Don’t let him do that. Just get determined to find something that will work for you.
I recommend Trim Healthy Mama because it is such a balanced approach to food. I get to eat sprouted white whole wheat bread and bacon, although not at the same time. I get to eat yummy peanut butter muffins with a chocolate syrup drizzled on them, albeit sugar-free but definitely not sweetener free. But I’m also encouraged to eat big healthy salads full of veggies, which can be eaten with lovely healthy fats and meats or low in fat with fruit and lean meats. It is such a well balance approach to eating and I’m blessed to have found it.
I hope, that if you are one of those women, who have found out that your husband is turned off by your weight, that you will not hold it against him but prayerfully consider how you can show him how much you love and respect him by getting yourself healthy. Yes, do it for yourself but doing it for him isn’t necessarily a bad thing either. It probably shouldn’t be the only reason though.
Until next time, God bless,