Now I am not a proponent of arguing and not resolving anything. The only good argument is one that resolves the issues that caused it. You don’t have to argue but Michael and I are both very strong, independent individuals that were determined to spend our lives together. This required some communication about expectations and most of the time these were not planned discussions; they happened on the fly.
Now in our younger years, we were a bit more hot-headed than we are now. At least I like to think we’ve mellowed with age. Some of our arguments have resulted in some of the things we continue to carryout to this day. For example, he texts me when he is headed home and how long it will be until he gets here. This is because we homeschooled and the kids and I were here, in our home, being active, which generally includes making messes. Michael would come in and it was very lived in which did not make for a good feeling for him when he came in the door. So his text (call in the early days) gave me the warning we needed to clean things up and for me to get dinner started. Since he is self-employed his hours and commute times change a lot.
You see, we’d had a discussion (which was probably more like an argument) many times when he’d come home to a cluttered living space and dinner not being thought about. He wanted peace and quiet, food, and a clean floor to walk on. If he had worked a 9-5 or such job and he always got home at the same time, it would have been an easier fix but it could fluctuate by one to three hours on any given day. Thus we instigated the “headed home” notification.
So although arguments are never necessary, since there is always a calm and collected way to have a discussion, they are not necessarily all bad either. Just ensure that you are working to a resolution and not just yelling or flinging insults. I’m a very passionate person and I have a loud mouth which means that inevitably I will raise my voice in a conversation, especially if I am frustrated. Of course, that doesn’t mean it is right, but not the end of the world. Just be sure to fight fair (no name calling and such) and work to solving the the situation that caused the argument to begin with.
I hope you find this helpful. It’s just me being open and honest.
Until next time, God bless,