In case you don’t know me in real life, I am overweight and have fought to lose weight nearly all my life. Continuing the fight after getting married, I heard many people say that you have to lose weight for yourself. I decided that they must know what they are talking about.
But all these years later, I have noticed one thing that is quite disturbing to me. I hear of people who lose weight after being married for a number of years. They feel good about themselves and then start having selfish actions where they start wanting to go out and socialize and “party” (whatever that means to the individual), whether or not their spouse wants to go and do likewise.
The very sad thing is that the spouse who was with them through the years of struggle, is now looked over, with the feeling of “I can do better.” Really?!? That person that has been with you through your struggle, and now, since you’ve won the battle, you are too good for him/her?
So this makes me look at this all over again. I’ll use my situation as an example. If I am getting into shape for Michael and my family (so that I am healthier, among other things), how would it affect my attitude once I lose the weight? Then it is a gift given to my husband and family, not something I did just for me. I think this motivation would help to keep someone from thinking they deserve someone better than the person who has put up with them during their struggle.
So I think that it comes down to having a combination of motivators. You cannot do it for yourself alone, you also have to do it for your spouse (and family), as a kind of gift to them. Then don’t think more highly of yourself than you ought. And just in case you weren’t sure, thinking you deserve better, is thinking more highly of yourself than you ought to think.
Bottom line for me: I have to want to change but I have to want to change as a gift to my family, as well as something I get to enjoy.
Until next time, God bless,