Category Archives: Marriage Monday

Because your spouse matters

How He Asks and How I Respond

Today I just share a reminder. Even though I have known for several years that when Michael asks me if I want to do something, he is really meaning to say would I do the thing. For example, if he asks me do I want to take a walk, he means would I take a walk with him. It is a subtle difference but really a big difference.

The first is asking if it is something I want to do, for which I answer according to my desire. The second is asking if I would do it with him. I am always more willing to do something for or with Michael, even if I am tired.

And even though I know all this, I still sometimes fail to remember this and respond appropriately.

So the reminder is to remember how your spouse asks for things and respond accordingly. ;) I know I needed the reminder.

Until next time, God bless,

Michele ºÜº

Maybe He’s Not Really Being Controlling, It Just Seems Like It

We finally made it to the water park with my sister and her girls last week. Of course it rained and we got a day pass to try again. We’d been able to get into the water for about 45 minutes before the horn blew because of thunder/lightening.

While Tracie and I were slowly getting into the pool, she told me that something I’d told here years ago, still helps her today. :) That was music to my ears! I love helping people. :)

I had shared with her back then that I had finally realized why Michael always wanted to know where we were going, how long we’d be there, who else would be there, and so on. Oh, it felt so controlling to me! It used to frustrate me and make me feel like I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere without his approval.

Protection is His Job

Then he explained that he feels responsible for us. Then I realized that it is his job to protect us (his wife and kids). In order for him to be able to do that to the best of his ability, he had to know when and where we were going.

It is so freeing to know that he takes his job so seriously. He is being protective of us, even when he isn’t there.

Tracie said she’d just shared that with her girls (again?) in the last week, explaining that it’s Dad’s job to protect us and he has to have a lot of information in order to do his job properly. :)

Ask God for Wisdom

It may not be the way we’d do the job but knowing it is their process makes all the questions and phone calls much more bearable. So if it seems like your hubby is being controlling, wanting to know where you are going, when, how long, with whom, et cetera, stop and ask God about it. It could very well be that your hubby is just taking his God-given job of protecting his family very seriously.

I’m sure there are some controlling husbands out there. If that is the case, pray and ask God how to deal with your special circumstances. God has a way of peace for you. The Bible says that if we ask God for wisdom, He will give it liberally; so ask God how to handle your individual situation. :)

Until next time, God bless,

Michele ºÜº

Growing Together

I received an email recently from Marriage Today about growing together being a key to a good marriage. I think that the trend of having “date night” can help a couple grow together. Honestly, Michael and I are hermits and don’t do date night nearly as much as we should but we manage. :)

It takes special attention to keep a couple from growing apart. Just because a couple lives in the same house does not mean that they are growing together and not growing apart.

Shared experiences and goals can help to grow together. It is important to have meaningful conversations and do things together.

There was a time when I was very focused on raising our children and my relationship with Michael was a bit on automatic. I regret that now. I wish we’d have had taken a bit more time for ourselves, as a couple. Thankfully, we have managed to overcome that time of growing apart and started growing together again.

Hop over and read the article on Marriage Today. I hope it will be an encouragement to you and your spouse.

Until next time, God bless,

Michele ºÜº

What Helped Pain from a UTI or Bladder Infection

Okay, I’m going to start this with a disclaimer: I’m not a medical advisor, so if you try these, it’s at your own risk. :)

So, I have only had two or three bladder infections or UTIs in my lifetime. The first that I recall was a couple of years ago. At that time the only thing I knew to do was drink cranberry juice/take cranberry pills. I’m not a fan of juice and we didn’t have any. (Yes, we could have run to the store but didn’t want to and yes the pain was pretty bad.)

Michael did some searching around for what I could do and found that there were several accounts (well, lots of them) of people that were pain-free having only taken apple cider vinegar. I have to admit, I really dislike vinegar but at the time, it was a better option. The tough part was that the accounts said to take it every hour the first few days. I have to admit, I’m not very good at doing something every hour. :D

ACV to the Rescue

I took two tablespoons of apple cider vinegar (acv) in a glass of water and added a tiny bit of stevia to it to make it tolerable. ;) After the initial pain was gone, I backed off the number of times I drank it and settled on two to three times each day for a week or more and then backed down to just once a day for a bit.

Last week I got it again out of the blue–no idea where it came from or what caused it. But it was there with a vengeance. :o I started drinking good girl moonshine which is a quart of water with 2 Tablespoons acv and other things to make it palatable. I’d forgotten about taking the acv every hour and was basically still just working on that first quart, which wasn’t helping very much. ;)

When Michael got home that afternoon, he told me that the bottle of D Mannose is for the urinary tract and I should take some. I was concerned because it is a powder and most powdered supplements taste nasty. But I was in pain, so I gave it a try. It didn’t taste bad at all!

Essential Oils to the Rescue

Again Michael set to researching and found this youtube video. It is by a gal who has had UTIs for 24 years and found a way to get rid of them without antibiotics. Thankfully we have the recommended oils here. We used:

  • about an ounce (half a little jar) of defractionated coconut oil as our carrier oil but you could use whatever carrier oil you want. (If I were desperate I’d even use regular coconut oil or whatever oil I had on hand.)
  • 3-5 drops basil essential oil
  • 3-5 drops lavender essential oil
  • 3-5 drops lemongrass essential oil

In the comments cinnamon and clove oils were recommended too. Eucalyptus or Rosemary could also be used if you were out of one of the oils. So, if you are allergic to lavender ;) , you can use one of these in its place. :)

Watch the video to see where and how to apply these oils, as well as frequency.

Other Helps

Michael came home the next day armed with supplements; he hates to see me in pain. :) We were almost out of D Mannose powder, so he brought home some cranberry + d mannose pills, which I’ve take a couple times a day. He also brought home some oregano oil pills, which I was taking for other things (which I cannot recall right now) but ran out a while ago, so I’m taking this again. He also brought some cranberry pills, which I took a few of but don’t really think I’d buy them again. ;)

I hope this helps you as much as it has me. After rubbing the oils on every half hour (we set a timer) for a couple hours, it was bed time. I slept without any pain and awoke pain-free. However as the morning progressed, some pain returned, so I increased the oil usage for a bit and took the d mannose again too. As well as lots of fluids and acv.

By the third day, I had very minimal pain at some times of the day. I kept the oils a couple times a day for about a week, just to keep it away. ;)

Until next time, God bless,

Michele ºÜº

Any Day Can Be Father’s Day

My son and his family generally come up for Father’s Day to celebrate with us and my parents (and the rest of the family that can make it). To ensure that he has a special Father’s Day as well, he, Lauren, and Liam celebrate together another day of the week.

This year Father’s Day was not as my dear hubby had planned. Unexpected conversations happened that lasted far longer than we had anticipated being gone. This is no big deal, really.

I want him to feel that he is special and that we are celebrating him. He got a partial special day, so I’m thinking that I’ll just make today/this evening a little more special for him. :) Any day can be Father’s Day: before, on, or after the day. :)

So I encourage you today, if you cannot celebrate the way you’d like to celebrate on a particular day, choose another day and do it then. :) I know a lady that celebrates Christmas and Thanksgiving with her daughter and her family a different day/week of the year and call it Thankmas. :) They make it work for them. We can all do this with any holiday, celebration, or special occasion.

Until next time, God bless,

Michele ºÜº

Avoid These Nine Things for a Stronger Marriage

I recently read a good article on the Marriage Today website. It shared nine things that lead to divorce. Consequently doing the opposite of these nine things will do the opposite? :)

I have been a long time supporter of some of these — as in, don’t do them — and found myself guilty of one or two. ;) Number seven is one I didn’t really understand; I thought that as long as it didn’t interfere with him or things I should be doing, then what difference did it make. In the end, I learned that it wasn’t about that–it was about his protective instincts and a desire to be sure I was okay. :)

I hope this enough teaser to get you to click over and read the nine short things to keep from doing and thus have a stronger marriage. ;) (I don’t get anything for you going there, by the way. I just think it is good information.)

Until next time, God bless,

Michele ºÜº

Marriage Reminder: Do Something

Today’s post is just a reminder to do something nice for your spouse today. Something that is not something you usually do or that he might expect. Of course, doing something nice that he enjoys, whether it is something unexpected or not, is a good thing.

I’ll have to put on my thinking cap to come up with something unexpected but better to do something ordinary than nothing at all. ;) Of course, I have to start thinking about Father’s Day too. :)

Until next time, God bless,

Michele ºÜº


The Wife Challenge

I was reading Ephesians chapter five in the Amplified Bible, one day last week and came across the scriptures about wives relationship to husbands.

Verse twenty-two wasn’t to much different than what I’ve heard before.

22 Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord. (AMPC)
I thought that was it. But of course, I finished reading the chapter that day and came upon the last verse of the chapter, verse thirty-three, which reads,
33 However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly].(AMPC)
Wow, this is really a great list. It is a list that I should pay attention to. The respects and reverences part isn’t what jumped out at me. The Amplified uses multiple English word equivalents to clarify the Hebrew and Greek word meaning and context. So it is these words that made the meaning of respect and reverence a bit more clear. ;)
  • notice him
  • regard him
  • honor him
  • prefer him
  • venerates, which means regard with great respect, revere
  • esteems, which means respect, admire, value, regard
  • defers to him
  • praises him
  • loves him
  • admires him exceedingly


I’m challenging myself to use this list as a daily reminder. I think I will note an instance where I did one of these, either journaling or in my bullet journal.

I hope this scripture helps deepen your relationship with your hubby. :)

Until next time, God bless,

Michele ºÜº

Miscommunication in Marriage

I read in a book recently about a couple of things that happened to two married couples. They were situations where the husband had done something nice for the wife but when the wife saw what the husband had done, she focused on something that was done “wrong” or merely differently. All the husband “heard” was that he didn’t do it right and wondered why he even tried to do something nice at all.

Scenario 1

Upon reading these scenarios, I could totally see what happened. The first husband had gotten their young daughter ready to leave while the wife was getting ready. Unfortunately he’d chosen one of the child’s “good” outfits and that is what the wife focused on.

I can imagine that when the wife came in she thought how nice his actions would have been if she didn’t have to change their daughter anyway. She could have handled it better by thanking her husband for what he did and finding a nice way to inform him of the use of different outfits. ;) I’m guessing he just put something cute on his daughter instead of thinking about the appropriateness of the outfit for the day’s activities.

Scenario 2

A similar thing happened with the other scenario. The wife came into the kitchen after dinner and saw the husband sweeping the floor and most of the kitchen cleaned. She asked why he didn’t clean off the counters; naturally, he felt unappreciated, especially since he hadn’t finished the cleaning of the kitchen.

I’m guessing that the wife sweeps the floor when she is completely finished cleaning but her husband swept before he’d wiped the counters. His way was not wrong. It just wasn’t the way the wife does it. Now, she should have thanked him for cleaning the kitchen before asking why he didn’t clean the counters but still, it was just a communication error. (This book made it into something else entirely.)

These two situations remind me that my way is not the only way to complete a task and that I need to be sure to express my thankfulness for the help I receive. It also reminds me to watch the tone that I use to ask questions. I can think of a couple of different voice tones that can be used to say the exact same words but change how they are received. One sounds like nagging and ungratefulness and the other sounds thankful and curious.

Something Flylady taught me

I’m reminded of something I learned from Flylady: Housework done incorrectly still blesses your family. It doesn’t have to be done perfectly and it doesn’t have to be done the way mom taught me to do it, as long as it still gets done. ;)

I had to release my expectations on different household chores and allow others to do it their way. Michael does not fold towels the same way I do but that doesn’t make his way wrong and mine right. It really isn’t worth getting upset over or having to do it myself.

I hope this encourages you to express your thankfulness more and be sure to lighten the tone when asking why something was done differently than you’d do it.

Until next time, God bless,

Michele ºÜº

Worship: It Does a Body (and Marriage) Good

It is peculiar times we are in right now. Some churches have begun having services again but others have not here in Oklahoma, USA. I have found that I have really missed corporate worship!

A “friend” on facebook shared this link to a virtual choir singing The Blessing. It really ministered to me. There’s just something about harmony that moves me. :)  I watched on other virtual choir, not long ago and I’ve come to realize that I really like this and am now on a quest to find more.

Another song that has really ministered to me, for a long while now, is Spirit Lead. It truly is my heart cry!

I always feel so much better after having spent some time immersing myself in some wonderful worship music. It does my marriage good. :)

This is another favorite. :) (I may have shared it before; I honestly don’t remember.)

I hope these songs minister to you.

Until next time, God bless,

Michele ºÜº