I have a tendency to get defensive when Michael makes certain comments or does certain things. The problem is that I don’t always see it coming or even know why it comes but it comes. He doesn’t mean to offend me and yet I fight getting offended.
Oh, I hope I’m making sense to you. I’ll try to give you an example. I’ve started a new habit last month because I am notorious for leaving a dishcloth out too long. The new habit is that every night when I run the dishwasher before going to bed, I put out a clean cloth and put the used one into the laundry. I’ve done very well with this new habit and am pleased with myself for accomplishing this new habit. So, a week or so ago, Michael picked up a barely used dishcloth and put it in the laundry made a comment about wondering how long we’d been using that same dishcloth.
I reacted poorly. I hadn’t told him of my new habit but had expected that he would notice by the end of the month. So for some reason, I got upset. I guess I felt attacked even though I was not attacked.
So the question is why do I react that way? Why do I get defensive?
Unfortunately, I don’t have an answer to that question. But I recognize the problem and can now do something about it. I guess the first step is to pray and ask God to help me. Then ask for His help again when a situation arises and I’m wanting to ‘defend myself’. Of course this is easier said than done.
It boils down to choice. It is a choice to react badly or without frustration. It’s like I told my children when they were growing up, happiness is a choice; and unfortunately for you, you only have one choice: choose to be happy. So now I just have to tell myself to grow up and make the right choice, which is to believe that my love is not intending to hurt my feelings in any way.
Now I just have to do the hard and mature thing and make the right choice. Choose not to take offense and remain happy.
Until next time, God bless,