Category Archives: Marriage Monday

Because your spouse matters

The Hard Line Between Being Supportive and Disrespectful

Michael and I are very different people! Our upbringing was also totally different. So we end up clashing on lots of things. I am generally a very passionate person–I have strong feelings about things and I look out for those I love. (And have always protected my children as best I can but not in the overprotective parent way.)

Michael grew up in a very different way with harsh realities. He protected himself from bullies and such and knows the importance of being able to handle adversity.

Sometimes things happen and I feel the need to point out the harshness of the situation. Unfortunately it seems as if I am trying to ‘correct’ my hubby, which isn’t a good idea. But I get myself in these sticky situations trying to help those I love and it can seem as if I’m not on Michael’s side, so to speak. But I feel I have to address the situation. Ugh! :p

My kids are all in their twenties, following God with all their hearts, and the youngest two live here. It’s not easy as the kids mature and begin being more independent and have different opinions than their dad or me.

I realize the biggest answer to my quandary is prayer. :)

Do you have situations that you feel bad that you take the stand you do but feel you don’t really have a different option?

I’ll run for now, God bless,

Michele ºÜº

To Celebrate Valentine’s Day or Not to Celebrate Valentine’s Day

I was scrolling through facebook recently and was surprised when I saw that some happily married couples don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. =)) It seriously made me stop and think about it for a bit.

We’ve never gone all out for Valentine’s Day. And there were probably some years where we did very little.

When I was young I remember cutting out ‘decorations’ for each ‘holiday’ or season and hanging them up around my bedroom. I’ve always liked seasonal decor (little inexpensive things).

As a homeschool mom I tried to make small occasions fun. So on Valentine’s Day I’d make some red food and some dessert. At some point I started writing them each a letter. I guess I was trying to set a good example. ;)

After giving the topic some consideration, I realize that I use Valentine’s Day as an extra time to tell my family I love them but especially my hubby. It’s not about some big ordeal; it’s simply about letting my man know that I love him. It is a time to spend a little more thought on showing him love that one day, just like on our anniversary, Father’s Day, his birthday, and Christmas.

So I wonder about those happily married couples that don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. I guess it’s like people that choose not to celebrate Christmas. You’re welcome to your opinion but I’ve decided I want to pour a little extra love on my hubby on those days.

Last week I did clue him in to the fact that Valentine’s day is coming up shortly. He thanked me for the reminder. :) He knows that I like something little (like sugar-free chocolate/candies) and a nice purchased card. And I know he prefers a homemade card and something, be it a gift, or candy, or special dessert.

I wonder, do you and your hubby celebrate Valentine’s Day? If so, do you go big with expensive gifts, roses, and fancy dinner out? Or do you celebrate it privately after the kids are in bed with simple things? Or somewhere in between?

I’m glad I saw the post on facebook. It’s nice for me to think about why I do what I do.

Until next time, God bless,

Michele ºÜº

Valentine’s Day Planning

Valentine’s Day is  less than two weeks away. I’ve got some ideas about what to do for Michael but just not sure yet. I guess I need to make a decision. ;)

Do you find it difficult to come up with something? Since we still have two single kids at home, I like to make the day special for all of us but still keep Michael’s extra special. ;)

Of course I’ll make him a card because that is what he prefers–a handmade card over a purchased card.  I usually try to make red food and dessert is a must! Michael loves dessert. :) Plus this year St. Valentine’s Day is on a Friday, so that makes it more special.

Fridays are usually pizza night. Pizza sauce is red. Everyone loves the sourdough pizza. =)) There is this low carb, low fat berry cobbler that we could have and the berries could be red. :)

Of course I’ll think of something special for him but one of the best things I can do is keep my expectations low.

Well, I’m off to think about Michael’s card . . . begin planning it. I could use stickers and washi tape, which I have in abundance. I could do some zentangle inspired art and I have just downloaded the ValenTangle 2020 pdf, so maybe it will inspire me. Or I could paint his card or use stamps . . . many options. :)

I hope your Valentine planning is going well; time is getting short. ;)

Until next time,

Michele ºÜº

That Lovin’ Feeling

I looked over at Michael on the way to church yesterday and was struck with how handsome he is and how blessed I am. It actually brought tears to my eyes.

I sat there and wondered why it is that I’m only affected like that on the way to church but not any other time. And then I realized that he’s dressed up for church and being a paint contractor, he doesn’t dress up often. Another thing I realized is that I was sitting beside him and not across from him. Evidently his profile is very appealing to me. ;)

So, I’m thinking about this and wondering how I can tap into that feeling other times. It feels really good to have those “in love” feelings/moments. And then, as I’m typing this, He turned around from his game and winked at me and blew me a kiss and I felt it again.

I think it is about looking for those “feel good” moments in everyday life. At least, I’m going to put a little effort into that for a while.

Until next time,

Michele ºÜº

Starting to Prep for Valentine’s Day

I’m so thankful for people like Lori Byerly (The Generous Wife) because she is such a marriage encourager. Every year she starts a countdown to Valentine’s Day a month out. I love it because it gets me thinking about what to do for Michael with plenty of time to plan.

  • Do I want to make him a dessert he likes?
  • A special dinner with special dessert? (wink wink)
  • A several day surprise (like 12 days of Christmas)?
  • Take him out to eat the weekend before or after (he hates crowds, so Valentine’s Day is out of the question ;) )

So now, thanks to Lori, I’m thinking about Valentine’s Day and beginning to do some searching for some good ideas. It’d be nice to do something different this year. ;)

What are you planning? Have you got any different ideas?

Until next time,

Michele ºÜº

Handling a Change of Routine

With the holidays came  big change in our household routine. Of course it was a nice change of pace and made for enjoyable holidays. But when it gets extended it can throw a wrinkle in the normal routines, which isn’t always welcome or pleasant. ;)

As a self-employed paint contractor, Michael’s work can really fluctuate. It’s difficult to find the time to take a vacation because when work is abundant, well, he has work he needs to do and can’t generally just take off. And when work is sparse, it is difficult to go and spend money on something like a vacation when money is not coming in. It is understandable why people wouldn’t want painting done in their homes over the holidays or in January.

All of this can change the routines in our home. When the guys are home, Tiffany and I don’t follow the same routines we normally follow. For me, that starts with bedtime and the time I get up in the morning. I prefer later nights and to sleep in each morning. But left on my own, I end up going to bed a bit later each night and then sleeping in a bit later the next morning. I’m not really a morning person and only set my alarm in order to get up to start my day off right and be able to make Michael’s breakfast and lunch before he heads to work. So when he doesn’t have work, I don’t set the alarm and I usually end up staying up a little later than normal.

It is nice to have a break in routines for a short while but at some point my mind just screams to get back on schedule. I haven’t read much since before Christmas and I miss it. I haven’t done any Bob Ross paintings for several months and I miss that as well.

Tiffany and Michael both got sick between Christmas and the New Year and so that threw things off kilter a bit too. I like to get my bullet journal set up at the kitchen table with Tiffany but really felt uninspired to do any of it (and then there was also tending to the sick ;) ).

So the way I handled these hiccups in my routine was to make sure I spent some time with God each day. I did some calming exercise: either took a walk or the Ring Fit Adventure game on the Switch. I also made sure to take St. John’s Wort each day and L-Theanine as needed for added calming effect.

It’s helpful to keep the parts of the routine that I can but not to be a Nazi about it and be flexible. When hit with a difficult moment, I try to take a deep breath and not overreact but of course, I’m not always successful. ;)

So how do you handle changes to your routine?

Michele ºÜº

Knowing When to Push and When to Stop

Sometimes Michael mentions doing something and I get all excited and want to move forward. The problem with that is that he is slow to commit to things, especially spending money, which is not a bad thing as it has saved us some money. :)

However sometimes I need to push to proceed with the thing because it is best for us. In other words, sometimes waiting has a cost. The important thing for me is to learn when to push and when to let go.

If I push when I need to let go, it is probable that I will frustrate him. Of course, if I stop when I should push, we could miss out on an opportunity that would be beneficial to us. It’s a big balancing act that is best approached with prayer.

I hope we all can find that balance, knowing when to push and be still.

Until next time,

Michele ºÜº

Adding a Little Marital Fun

For Christmas, a friend of mine gave me some really nice kitchen themed serving dishes and this cute little bell.

It’s a cute little thing and we’re having fun with it. :D

I showed it to Michael and then rang it. ;) He dutifully gave me a kiss. Several times throughout the rest of that day, I rang the bell and we both laughed but he did come over and kiss me. :)

I forgot all about it for a couple of days with all the holiday festivities but remembered it yesterday and rang it again. :D He’d just sat down and didn’t want to get back up right then but I just kept ringing the bell until he did come and kiss me. :D It was all in fun and I believe it is good for our relationship.

Sharing laughter is something we both enjoy. Thankfully, we both see this as good-natured fun. Even when he ‘refuses’ to come kiss me when I ring the bell, we both get a laugh out of it.

I encourage you to find some fun to have with your honey, be it a whistle, a specific tune, or even a bell, like us. ;)

Until next time,

Michele ºÜº

Christmas Time Snuggles

Wow! It’s Christmas week! Things can get so busy and hectic that it can be easy to forget to give your sweetheart some extra sugar this week. But I promise, if you remember to do some little “act of kindness” or little extra for your love each day, it will bless your marriage.

Consider sneaking him a piece (or even just a bite or two) of his favorite treat that you’re making for the holidays, bring him a drink as you get your own, or just take a moment and give him a smooch.

Sometimes I’ll go over and sit on Michael’s lap and stare into his eyes or just smile and tell him I love him and give him a quick kiss and then go about my business. I keep interruptions short if he’s doing something important or when he wouldn’t appreciate it. ;)

So that is my encouragement today: take a little extra time to snuggle with or do something nice for you love each day this week. :)

Until next time,

Michele ºÜº

 

Stressed?

I went to have an overall health check about 6 weeks ago. My cortisol levels were high, as well as insulins, and my adrenals were ramped up; this is my paraphrase of what I was told. Bottom line, my body is stressed. Thankfully, I don’t feel stressed, which I attribute to God and prayer.

I now have some supplements to help my body deal with the stress. I have also had an attitude shift or mental adjustment towards exercise. Exercise is no longer a suggestion for me; it’s a prescription–something I must do for my health. So I really try to get a decent walk in each day. I prefer it to be at least a mile but some days it is a bit shorter. The point is to get some fresh air, breathe deeply, and some stress-relieving exercise.

I’ve realized that when I have a moment when I am aware that I’m feeling a bit stressed, I must be uber stressed and need to take some deep breaths or go on my walk for the day. I’m also very thankful for prayer and worship, which can also help to relieve stress. (As well as supplements like L-Theanine. ;) )

So during this busy season, if you are feeling stressed be sure to

  • pray
  • worship
  • breathe deep
  • exercise
  • Oh and make time to snuggle with your hubby

It’s important for your health. Not only do you want to be around for another year but your family and friends want you around for another year. :)

Until next time, God bless,

Michele ºÜº