I’ve heard some young people (and some not so young people) say they don’t need a piece of paper; they know they love each other, as an excuse not to get married. But if it is really only a piece of paper, then what harm is there in getting it? I mean, as excuses go, that one is pretty weak.
From my experience, a woman wants the security of knowing that you are committed to her and if you’ve taken your relationship to the level of getting that piece of paper, she knows you’re serious. This is one reason why a woman should refrain from intimacy before marriage. Men (yes, I know we woman do too) want the act of marriage. If you give him what he wants without the security of knowing he is committed to only you, you have lost a huge motivator. Whereas, if he can not have intimacy with you until after committing to spending the rest of his life with you, there is a stronger chance he will commit than if he is getting everything he wants.
If a woman doesn’t want to get married, you must ask yourself why she doesn’t. Where is her commitment? If you are providing for her needs without her being committed to you and only you, then you are cheating yourself.
God created sex as a wonderful thing between a husband and a wife. It bonds people together. If you go sleeping around being intimate with others, you are cheapening/weakening that bond for when you do get married.
Man, if you love the gal you are with, and are committing to her anyway, why not prove that commitment to her by getting that piece of paper. It really is an expression of love. When you refuse to marry her, you are sending her the signal that if it gets bad enough, I’ll just leave. It doesn’t matter if you don’t think you’d ever do that, you’re still sending that signal. And if you have asked her to marry you and she won’t, then you need to separate now, because she is not committed to you and she’s telling you in a subtle way, that she is only with you until something better comes along. And for that matter, that is the same signal a guy gives a girl when he lives with her but will not marry her. Nobody wants to feel like they are second best.
I hope that someone comes across this post that needs to hear/read these words. Know that although marriage is hard, if you are living with and having intimacy with another, you are already experiencing the hardness of marriage. It is my opinion that having that piece of paper give both parties a security that the other is going to stick around and that the other loves them enough to commit to them. Believe it or not, that adds a lot of buffering to a living situation, thus making it easier.
Now for those that are getting older and still single and not being intimate, ask yourself why. Sharing your life with another is one of the best things you can do. Are you warding off marriage because of selfishness? I encourage you to pray about your situation and see what God would have you do. Marriage is a beautiful thing. Yes, it takes some work but it is worth the effort.
Until next time, God bless,