I’m fifty-one years old. I’m going through the change of life, finally . . . thankfully! Over the last several days I have been emotional. I’m not usually a very emotional person. Passionate, yes; emotional, not so much. Earlier last week I was dealing with depression. Thankfully I don’t usually have to deal with that but last week I did. One day it was bad enough that I had to confess it to Mike, who graciously did goofy things until I was laughing.

The last two days has been tough. Everyone was either making me angry or hurting me to the point I was on the verge of tears several times. They weren’t really doing anything that was different from normal, it was just me being emotional. Had I not known this I could have let it build a wedge between Mike and I, and even my kids, but today is Marriage Monday, so I stay focused on just Mike and me.

When I was realized that I was the common denominator in all the situations, I decided that I would take some l-theanine and St. John’s Wort, which are both mood supports. (SAMe is another supplement that is supposedly helpful for mood health.) These help once they get into the system but until then I had to make extra effort not to take offense at anything because my family is NOT against me.

My emotions have really been causing me to think the worst of comments Mike has made the last few days. He hasn’t been mean but my emotions have tried to make me become offended at him and to take some of his comments or conversations wrong. Without the knowledge that my emotions were out of wack, I would have been upset with Mike and we would have probably had some big arguments, all because my emotions were riding high.

So I guess my encouragement to you today is to be aware of your body and what you are going through so that you don’t take something the wrong way and cause harm to your marriage.

In the end, I tried to make up for my emotional state by making a homemade Devils Food Cake from scratch for dessert last night. I believe all was forgiven. Truth be told, I was playing a game yesterday afternoon and one of the items I kept seeing was a Devils Food Cake and it made me want some. I mentioned it and was met with both Mike and Sean telling me what a good idea it was for me to make one.

Until next time, God bless,
Michele ºÜº

Some times there is a difference of opinion between Mike and I. In general that is fine and we just agree to disagree but sometimes that cannot be done. Some times one person has to give in, like whether you are going to spend money on a particular item or not or do a specific thing or not. In these instances someone either has to be swayed by the argument of the other or one just has to give in.

How do you handle these things? I don’t handle them well all the time. Sometimes it is an easy call and not that big of a deal but other times it takes a complete bending of the will. And guess who’s will gets bent. Yep, I feel it is generally my duty to give in (be submissive). Of course that does not come until it is a last resort though. hee hee Disclaimer:  this does not hold true for abuse and such.

I’m not one that is afraid to argue. I don’t think an argument is a problem . . . if you fight fair. There can be no name calling or throwing up past faults or even pulling in other subjects. It is also important not to carry it too long. If you cannot come to an agreement, table the conversation, if possible, and pray about the situation, then bring it up again.

I have found that there is no good time to talk to Mike about certain subjects. There just isn’t. As you would guess, before bed is out because that would cause him not to be able to sleep. When he first gets home is out too because he needs to decompress from his job. Dinner time is not good either because, well, who wants to mess up a good dinner. Evening is bad too because he’s relaxing. In the morning before work is not good because he is getting ready for work and mentally preparing for his day. And I just don’t think it would be a good idea to call him while he is at work. So you see? There is no good time to broach a subject that is a potential hot topic.

So what do I do? I feel out each potential time on an individual basis and pick the one that seems best to me at the time. I also try to soften it by asking him to just hear me out and then I present the situation as succinctly as possible. The important thing is to know when to table the discussion . . . that is usually the point when no new information is being discussed.

Now it is important not to be mean or rude for the rest of the day. Don’t pout or give the “silent treatment” as that isn’t fighting fair either. Giving him the cold shoulder isn’t a mature way to handle things either.

One thing I have learned to do is to mention the topic lightly when I first learn about it to break him into the topic. Don’t sit on it and wait and wait to bring it up because you don’t know how and you’re pretty sure it is a hot topic . . . giving him a longer time to let God deal with him and mull over the points I’ve brought up . . . and vice-versa.

I hope these thoughts will help you the next time you have a difference of opinion with your beloved.

Until next time, God bless,
Michele ºÜº